Today is my birthday! You know what that means; my pact with the devil to be able to rely solely on my looks for all eternity requires that I offer a sacrafice, which will take the form of lots and lots of champagne. But it also means it is time to announce the winners of my I HEART BRANDON birthday contest REALNESS.
The photos I received were amazing and varied. I had no idea that I had such fun, creative, and sexellent readers! There was no way I was going to be able to choose from the pictures as they were all so unique and great, so I had to enlist the assistance of my friend Kasey to pick the winners.
Thank you to everyone who submitted, and an extra special thanks to those who enclosed a birthday message to me. Your words touched me internally in a way that I am not accustomed to. I really appreciate all your continued support and I am honored to be able to give back to you on this very special day. Thank you!
And the winners are…
3rd Place — Winner of the Tenga Egg lot and Sliquid Oceanics: A whole mess o’ hos presenting some drop dead raunchy orgy couture realness!
Good lord boys! Where is your mother!? Is she the one taking the picture? Featured in this photo is a real life gay couple and their best friend moments before they all wore masks of my face and rubbed up against each other aka my ideal date. Thanks fellas, enjoy the Tenga Eggs — and as an added bonus I am sending an extra three bottles of Sliquid Organic Oceanics for everyone involved, including your mother and her camera phone.
2nd Place — Winner of the Tantus B-Bomb vibrating plug and Sliquid Organic Oceanics: BRYCE presenting some coquettish come-hither realness!
When I first saw this picture my heart melted. Then I realized Bryce is not only rocking scruff, multi-colored eye makeup, a pair of cute Aussiebums, and a sweet tribute tattoo, he is also totally stealing my hair style and signature pose! Don’t make me come hunting for you mister; I’d hate to have to scratch that pretty face! And I do scratch, it’s my only means of attack/defense. Enjoy the B-Bomb darling, and remember to think of me when you’re using it!
1st Place — Winner of the NJOY Eleven and a grip of Sliquid lubes: W0LFE presenting some Nightmare on B Street creepy ass realness!
Holy hell! If I go missing tonight someone alert the police to search every boiler room in Bushwick! Though they will probably assume I am at the Boiler Room in the East Village. W0lfe did some spelunking and called upon my love of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies (which I was raised watching, I loves me some Freddy) to turn out some creepily awesome slasher realness! At first I was a little scared, but then decided that I would much rather this guy be on my side than not, so take the 1st place prize and please spare me my life killer!
Congratulations to all the winners, and a big THANK YOU to everyone who entered! Your pictures brought a huge smile to my face and I can’t think of a better birthday gift.
Now I gotta go get my drink on with my friends. Be sexy, y’all! xxo