I am a Taurus. Taureans are known to be patient, reliable, determined, self-indulgent…They can be slow to start but once they are in motion nothing can stop them. A Taurus is slow to anger but once they’ve had enough, it’s no mystery why they are symbolized by a bull; strong, angry, stampeding.
My process is much like the definition of a Taurus. I don’t enjoy creating things for the sake of creating something. I am really only interested in creating something — be it a piece of art or a performance or whatever — when I feel that it is organic and pure expression.
It’s strange…I don’t feel that I am a creative person, but rather that I possess creativity from time to time. That may sound weird but..I don’t know if I can explain it.
My entire body feels like churning paint on the inside, various shades and textures. My inside writhe and struggle seeking a means to escape and manifest in the form of a creation. It’s not like this all the time; just periodically, randomly. I feel like something takes over my emotions and my thinking, and all I can do is close my eyes and feel what it is wanting to do. Pieces of the puzzle begin to manifest and I do my best to document them either physically or as a mental note. I don’t feel like I am creating when I am in this state, I feel like I am channeling. Giving birth. Possessed.
Anyway, I probably sound crazy, I just wanted to share some notes I’ve made recently, since I am once again brewing. There is a force in me that needs to be manifested someday soon. It’s indulgent and theatrical. It’s sensual and ecstasy embodied.