Stranger than Kindness, Stranger than Fiction by Sovereign

iphone 020

Sometimes I get really weird mail.  Sometimes I get really offensive mail.  Sometimes I get really uplifting mail.  And sometimes I get this:

  • Conversation started March 1
    I just watched some of ur movies and they r really great I LOVE ur eyes. I just noticed that u fake it alot, and was wondering do u find it hard to get there or do u just not let urself? I apologize if thats somethung u would rather not say I was just curious.


    I thought I should apologize for my last message, I didnt mean to come off mean or cocky or anything I think you have amazing eyes so i couldnt help but watch them so it just made me wonder what you were thinking.
  • March 2

    I know your probably not getting these but I gotta ask you have you ever seen Amy Lee from Evanescence?You both have same eyes.
  • March 2
  • Sovereign Syre

    Hard not to think you’re an asshole when you come out of the gate assuming I’m faking it. Have a nice day.
  • March 17


  • March 22

    When I was 6 I got raped and he made me feel like I liked it, when I was 8 I was in a really bad car accident that left me in a body cast for 6 months after I spent 6 months in the hospital first. I was alone until I was 15 and i found a girl who was 18 that I just couldnt be without, after being with her for ten years I watched her drown in a dam, then I spent the next ten years on vodka.After going through that I have been taking care of my nieces and nephews for the last 8n years now I take care of my 90 year old grandmother. I found your pic on you tube and i was attracted to you. so I just wanted to explain why I ask you what I did because most of my life i have had to do that . I really am sorry and I hope you can forgive me.
  • March 23
  • Sovereign Syre

    You should try a support group. It would probably be helpful for you to connect with people in your real life.

  • March 24

    No, thnx. and good luck to you,Bye
  • April 17

    I dont know why it matters so much but I need u to know that I really am sorry for being so forward im not like and dont know why I did but i felt lonely i guess. I truly am sorry.

A few things in looking at this. One I come off like an asshole. I battle with this. With the amount of shit that gets hurled at you as an adult performer, it is difficult to always know at the beginning of a conversation when compassion is called for. Moreover, these aren’t that uncommon for me. What disturbs me is that there are probably countless people out there, interacting this way, seeking help from those of us that are completely unqualified to give it.

It’s the paradox of my position.

The strangest part of being in porn is the way people just ham-handedly try to hand off their sexuality to you, like its your job, like its your job to care, etc.

I also have come to realize what a sexual wasteland most people find themselves in. I’ve come to feel like a character in an H.P. Lovecraft novel anymore, and civilians are these weird alien beings and I’m wandering in the borderlands of their psychosexual landscape.

Next time you get mad at me for not tweeting back or being curt…please refer to the above exchange and realize that its nothing personal, but this is the kind of thing I get handed on a weekly basis.

I did debate with myself about posting this exchange, as it might be exploiting this person, who for as much as I can tell from her FB profile etc, is indeed real…but I figured I expose myself for the asshole I can be as much as she is exposed, so it was kind of fair game.



About sovereignsyre

We were raised as wolves, and as wolves we shall remain.
This entry was posted in A Whore's Progress, Blogroll, essays. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Stranger than Kindness, Stranger than Fiction by Sovereign

  1. Mariam says:

    I came to believe in two things about us humans,is that we are lonely and somewhat fucked up…This fan mail is a solid proof for the first and maybe the second too(I really don’t wanna question this person’s tragic life it it did exist).
    People who are lonely tend to confide in people they feel like they know and by this I mean people like you,famous people,they feel like they know you well enough from seeing you on the internet and in movies, that they can confide in you,try to get your sympathy,in other words they feel that you can be their friend,So they would do things to get your attention like making up a tragic story (Not that this is a fake story but I highly believe it is so).
    All I’m really asking you here is just have a bit of patience w/this sort of people,all they need is a friend,unfortunately they thought this friend could be you.
    On a side note another awesome blog entry keep them coming.

    • sovereignsyre says:

      I guess that’s my problem with this approach. It takes advantage of my natural inclination to sympathy. I feel that if the story is true, I want to be kind, but if its not I’m angry…but as I have no way of knowing, it puts me in a bind, using a persons own good nature to hurt them…

      • Mariam says:

        Obviously people are trying to take advantage of your emotional side since you said that this wasn’t the first time such thing has happened…I’m in no place to offer you advice since my approach for such situations is opposite to you(I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt),but if there’s a thing you can TRY and do,is just act “Neutral”,don’t sympathize and do not get angry,it’s tough to control such emotions but it is do-able.

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