How To Love Neurotic People

How to Love Neurotic People:

how to love neurotic people

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything of substance for this blog.  I imagine it’s a two-fold type of reason for that.  On one hand, it can feel like farting into the wind.  I spend some time putting together my ideas, I write them down, and then nothing really comes of it.  Lively discussions don’t take place in the comment section and after a day or two, it’s like it never happened.  I often find out later that quite a few people did actually read the blog and had feelings about it.  Maybe six months later I’ll get an email about something I talked about here, or I’ll be doing an interview and they’ll pull a picture from the blog I thought no one had looked at.

At the same time, it would probably be good for me to contribute more here.  I think the second part of the problem is that there’s no real unified theme to what I write here, there’s no consistency…and if the only theme is what’s going on in my life, well that’s going to vary wildly.  I guess there isn’t really a topic I’m so passionate about that I want to write about it endlessly…and my own internal monologues are probably the most uninteresting thing to me.

However, I am starting to have an interest in writing, thinking and talking about love, sex and politics and how they intersect with daily life.

I’ve been talking with my brother a lot, about relationship problems that he’s been having, and I’ve come to realize that most relationship problems aren’t really about problems you’re having in your relationship, but rather problems you’re having in your relationship to yourself.  I think that a lot of us spend so much time in our own heads, projecting and fantasizing about the people in our lives from friends to lovers to relatives.  We create a role for them to fulfill and we commit fully to that fantasy, despite any evidence that person may provide to the contrary.  In fact, when the people in our lives begin to defy these fantastic projected images of themselves, we get resentful, confused, and hurt.

The real way to understand most relationship problems then, is to look at the fantasies or ideas we have about the people in our lives and examine what those fantasies or fears tell us about ourselves.  What is it that we most want the people in our lives to do for us?  What are the things we fear most about what they might do to us?

Spend enough time looking at the daydreams we have about that man or woman we’re just crazy about and we can learn a lot about what we’re lacking in our own lives.  It gives us homework…which is maybe why we try to avoid it so desperately.

I think that we spend so much time in our heads that we never really experience the people around us instead of merely being in their presence.  So lately I’ve been in the practice of trying to see the people I’m involved with for who they really are, and not what I want or fear them to be.

It takes a lot of work.

About sovereignsyre (200 Articles)
We were raised as wolves, and as wolves we shall remain.

2 Comments on How To Love Neurotic People

  1. Well sovereign about the issue you raised ,I think just quite some people check your blog here but its that thing that grabs you to twitter more and your so much less contributing at recent months that make it less active here , I can even remember your post on Hollywood Babylon and you didn’t post much right after that

    On the relation topic , I really like your idea , I even had that daydream of someone less than talking to her & its horrible … its not about having a time relation buts its on having a right and healthy relation

    Well girls always wait for the man’s first effort & may show some signs & hints of interest like being (more friendly) but we guys may miss-understand that , In the last months I had an experience with a super intelligent girl & she was always in my head ,of course an awesome smile always do the reaction but after all its a mutual mental relation , at first its not about the girl (( stuff)) for being curvy or so , its a mutual thing where she jumps to my head and me to before jumping elsewhere :)

    its always about the first contact , in your industry its that part where nica noelle or dana vespoli makes the scene G/G OR B/G just kiss outside camera to get to know each other better before shooting , in real life that first part is much hard on guys nowadays as girls have became much more careful and conservative before allowing a guy to jump in her pans & bra

  2. off-topic
    Here’s my review to your last scenes

    G/G : In total love with Remy la-croix scene you were super it’s one of your best,with Jenna Ross you were so sensitive but she wasn’t that good really,with Jessie Andrews I was awaiting it a lot but she disappointed me.. you sovereign is really way more professional than her, she really looked like a new comer with Marylin Monroe (you) , with Bridgette D & Pepper Kester was a nice one but it was even better with Misty Stone and more better on the poolside with Holly Hudson also (Electro-sluts) with Aiden starr was good but the best for me was REMY’s scene.

    B/G: Enjoyed so much your new scenes since (Hollywood Babylon) with the famous Ryan Driller scene this time Bill Bailey with you on ( I Had A Wife )it was really super for me , the second best is him again on the (Naughty Office) scene,didn’t like so much Mark Wood & Brick Danger scenes I felt they didn’t handle the gift well .
    Derrick Pierce was a powerful scene I liked it a lot also with Xander Corvus was a cinematic style scene I liked it ,with Tommy Pistol it was a really hot scene he was so fast … please tell Steven st. croix to be that fast next time with you on camera :) :)
    The best for me were 2 scenes (I Had A Wife) & (Wet Reckless) with Derrick

    I’m awaiting so much you with Veronica Avluv as you told me on May & also you said you had a scene lately with India Summer & that must be nice to watch

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